No matter what anyone may tell you, you will always know what is best for you. I have to keep telling myself this every time someone decides to make a comment about something or share their opinion with me.
Stay Positive no Matter What...
The other thing I've come to realize is that the environment you live in and the people you are constantly around can influence your feelings and emotions. My whole life, I've been surrounded by negativity, negative people and almost had daily challenges to overcome. Every person will have their struggles along their journey through life. The only difference between me and the next person is how I've handled everything that has been thrown at me. It is true that the way you approach a situation will make all the difference when it comes to the outcome. I used to live in the negative and let it take over my whole being. I would sulk, cry, and blame the world around me for all that was "wrong" in my life instead of working on myself or what I saw as "wrong". The only problem with doing what I had done by never working on the issues in my life is now I have to face them head on. This overwhelming want and need to get myself out of this comfortable "rut" while also trying to keep myself balanced energy wise is a challenge in itself.
More Work to be Done...
For anyone wondering about the goals/affirmations list that I write daily, this was the one for today, April 19th. Work had me so non-stop that, by the time I got home, I was exhausted. I didn't even take a lunch or bathroom break and almost crashed once I got in bed. I pushed myself, got an hour workout in, and still got at least half of the things on this list accomplished. That is all that matters. I'm making the effort day after day to get myself one step ahead of where I was the day before. I've done a great job with my physical health but this all is to improve my mental health. That aspect has yet to catch up with the new me I've worked so hard to become. This whole process will be a long one but I will keep blogging, writing, doing my art, working out, etc because that is how I've learned to cope.
I'm only 3 days into this and I did have a rough past few days outside of working on improving myself. The guy I left has texted me which did kind of bring back emotions and thoughts I was trying to push aside. The thing about this breakup was that I had lost myself in trying to help him and I wasn't benefiting from it at all besides feeling good for helping someone in need. So seeing a text about him now having a car really didn't make me feel any different about my decision to get out while I could. He contradicted himself, lied right to my face, and had a lot of personal things that weren't taken care of. I knew we rushed into it and both of us were too attached. I blocked him on all social media not to be ugly but to keep me from even seeing him or what he was doing. Distancing myself is the best way to move on.
Looking Back......
If some of you have read my other blogs or blog posts, I haven't had a good experience when it comes to dating. It stems back to issues I had with my father growing up then my first boyfriend using me, controlling me, emotionally abusing me and I didn't even realize it until I left him. I had ignored the red flags and was with him almost 4 years. I saw some of the same things happening with this last guy and I got out early. It just was too soon and I we both needed to work on ourselves. I have my own things to get done before I bring someone else into my life. I heard this quote on the radio yesterday and it truly is perfect: "Don't let your loneliness lower your standards". I was letting this happen and I deserve better than what I was settling for all this time. Worst part of this whole thing is that I've been in love before...and that guy just happens to still be around. Working to get him fully out of my life as well because all he's done is hurt me, bring more negativity into my life, and cause unnecessary drama. Everyone tells me to just ditch him, but, not everyone knows the whole story. That is in another blog and a story for a later time. Right now, I'm taking care of my business, working on my own happiness, and learning to love myself for the first time ever in my life.
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